8 rules of love

 Book ------ 8 RULES OF LOVE 

Author-----JAY SHETTY 

Reason for reading this book 

  👉 the author of this book is Jay Shetty and last year I became his huge fan. 

During my spare time, I like to listen to his podcast 'On Purpose'

Every week he uploads mementoes podcasts which give me hope and strength. 

Through his podcast, he talks about his new boom which made me excited to read it and so I purchased it. 

Summary 

This book shares the 8 rules of love which are created by the author. 

8 rules 

1. Let Yourself Be Alone 
2. Don't Ignore your Karma 
3. Define love before you Think it, Feel it, or Say it 
4. Your partner is your guru 
5. Purpose Comes First 
6. Win or Lose Together 
7. You Don't Break in a Breakup 
8. Love Again and Again 

1. Let Yourself Be Alone 

• In this rule, the author Jay talks about the fear of loneliness. 
• How to overcome the loneliness of solitude. 
• The author has jotted down that solitude is the key to happiness and the antidote to loneliness. On the last page of this rule, he also teaches us how to do solitude meditation. 
• "any step toward knowing yourself in solitude will help to live with others because in addition to knowing what to bring to the table, the very process of learning to u understand and love yourself helps you to understand the effort required to love someone else."

2. Don't Ignore your Karma 

• The cycle of karma is being described. 
• Karma begins with an impression. From the time we are born, choices are made for us. 
• We should stop expecting the parental gap from our partners. 
• As many of us expect too much from our partner for something which was not given to us by our parents. 
• The author tells us to be who we are and see who loves us the way we are. 
• Be quoted "By pretending to be someone else, you will attract strive into your life."
• Writing a love letter to yourself. 

3. Define love before you Think it, Feel it, or Say it 

• 'I love you', this word has no universal agreement as to what it means. 

     • There are 4 past of love 

       1>  Attraction 

Researchers describe what we call love as thread distinct drives in the brain----- lust, attraction, and attachment. 

Time helps us to understand whether what we a

      2>Dreams 

Having a false expectation. We might hope that our partner wants the same tho gs in life that we do------- the same standard of living, the same family structure, the same likes and dislikes, the same friends and many more and when we find out it is. Of we tend to think we are not meant will be. 

In case two we ground our dreams in reality by establishing rhythms and routines that create the space to nurture the relationship slowly and carefully. 

Even when we have a busy schedule it is important to stay connected with our loved ones so great a ' social calendar for the week'

    3>Struggle and growth 

In phase 3 we confront those differences and disappointments and figure out if we want to put in the effort that resolves or live with them. 

When we think the person doesn't suit our priorities instead of breaking up with it try to work through the issue together without changing anything g, in which case you realize. 

     4>Trust 

We learn to adapt and adjust and tolerate when we overcome a challenge together. 

We shouldn't trust someone just because they were kind to us. 

Trust begins with ourselves so it is crucial to trust yourself. 

The author that we trust people more when they make us feel safe. 

Physical trust- when we feel safe and cared for in this presence. 

Mental trust- when we trust their mind and their ideas. 

Emotional trust- when we trust their values and who they are as a human.

4. Your partner is your guru 

• The author said that our partner should be one from whom we should learn something. 
• We learn with someone when we try something new together and reflect on it afterwards. 
• A guru offers guidance without judgment,  wisdom,  wisdom without ego, and love without expectation. 
• So here the author tries to teach us how to be a guru for ourselves and our partners. 
• The author said that we should not be very when someone near us makes a mistake instead of that we should teach them differently by using kind language. 
• And to be a guru it doesn't mean that we have to command but to be a guru and also a leader we should serve not lead.
• Setting a good example is very essential. 

 

5. Purpose Comes First 

• A person who doesn't take care of their purpose had a hard time supporting anyone's purpose.
• So your purpose comes first and only then you can make others purpose fulfil.
• Pyramid of purpose. i- learn ii- experiment iii- thrive  iv- Struggle v- win. 

6. Win or Lose Together 

• When we live in relation with someone who doesn't fight means that the relationship is not good. 
• As the author quoted "To live in a conflict-free bliss isn't love, it's avoidance". 
• A fight is not also an option when partners can express anger to each other in healthy ways,  that build certain qualities and abilities. 
• Help to solve equal or greater challenges in the future. 
• Even when we are fighting it is necessary to fight in a productive way such as first diagnosing the core problem,  purifying the ego, and knowing our fight style. 

 7. You Don't Break in a Breakup

• After a breakup, we tend to cry all night and harm ourselves. 
• But here the author teaches us how to break up but not break up with ourselves. 
• Because of a reason, people break up so it is essential to know the reasons.
• Elevate yourself- intolerable~tolerable~understanding~acceptance~appreciation. 
• "Everything we love goes, so to be able to grieve that loss,  to let go,  to have that grief be full,  is the only way to have our heart be full and open. "

8. Love Again and Again 

• The more people we help, the more we expand the capacity of love. 
• Just like the student said if we huge it to more to our family, and friends we expand our love by not waiting but creating it. 
• We are connected,  and when we serve others,  we are serving ourselves. 
• Rather than expecting love express love. The one who is expecting tends to get less love and the one who is expressing is loved by everyone. 
• Ex pressing love by understanding and beefing them.
• We have to get out of our comfort zone of love and express them from ~family~friends~colleagues~community~strangers~ organizations ~ and the earth 🌐 
• Finally, write a love letter to the world.

Thank you~